


Loneliness

by procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics



Series: Fíli [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Everybody Lives, F/M, Feels, First Kiss, Fíli being the gentleman he is, Homesickness, Insecurity, Modern Girl in Middle Earth, POV First Person, Post-Battle of Five Armies, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:15:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28501341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics/pseuds/procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics
Summary: The Reader finds that, unlike the dwarves, she can´t enjoy living in Erebor. Or anywhere in Middle Earth really. Without the company, the nights are long and lonely.
Relationships: Fíli (Tolkien)/Reader, Fíli (Tolkien)/You, Thorin's Company & Reader
Series: Fíli [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2117469
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Loneliness

**Author's Note:**

> Bear with me, this is my first reader-insert...

It was one of those days again. Normally, you could keep yourself entertained with the books in Westron from the library, seeing you had nothing to do anyways. You couldn´t help rebuilding and you weren´t wanted in the kitchen, politics took place in khuzdul and the people from the Dale weren´t too fond of you either. You sighed and put down your spoon. The company had their own dining hall, most of them couldn´t even eat anymore without being interrupted by someone. 

Normally, someone from the Company would be here and eat with you. Tonight, the room was empty. Thorin, Fíli, Kíli and Balin were still in some meeting, Dwalin was probably off training some recruits, Bofur and Bifur had their store in the Dale, Bombur was still cooking and Ori, Dori and Nori were apparently still out too. Oin was still working overtime in the infirmary to treat the wounded from the Battle and Gloin had travelled to the Blue Mountains to accompany his wife and son to Erebor.

You weren´t hungry so you picked up the dirty dishes and put them on one of the tables on the side. Your thoughts occupied your mind, but you still noticed the whispers that followed you everytime you walked down the hallways. Most of the dwarves talked about you in Khuzdul, so you didn´t have that attacking your already low self-esteem. There were especially nasty ones though, those who thought that a human woman shouldn´t even be near dwarves, who talked about you so loudly and in a the only language that they knew you would understand, that you heard them every time. 

Normally, you´d just try to ignore the comments, but today just wasn´t your day. When you heard the dwarf with the long black beard say his fill about you your stomach dropped. "She doesn´t belong here. They just took her on the quest out of pity. She isn´t capable of anything and she won´t make any friends in Erebor. Even her own people reject her. And look, seems like the Company has abandoned her too."

It wasn´t something that you hadn´t heard before, except for the abandonment part. You started to overthink. What if he was right? You had probably annoyed the shit out of all of them. No wonder they were glad to be rid of you. Now that the mountain was retaken, they didn´t have to defend you either. They could just let you wander around the mountain and occasionally talk to you to keep you entertained.

You ran to your room, forgetting to close the door on the way in, and flung yourself onto a chair. Only then did you allow yourself to start crying. You had been crying for a while now, not being able to stop. Your own mind didn´t help either. It just kept adding nasty thoughts.

"Hey y/n mind if I come in, I just wanted too-" Fíli said, stopping abruptly when he saw your figur hunched over, sobbing. Instantly, he was by your side. You could tell he was there, without actually looking. During the quest, he had taken care of you when Dori was preoccupied with his siblings. You had joked about him being a mother hen too. At that thought, you just started crying even harder. No one had found that funny.

"Hey, everything will be alright, okay?" Fíli told you.

"I just- I feel so alone sometimes and- Do you even like me Fíli? I know you probably think I´m super annoying so you can just tell me the truth already." you replied

"What makes you think that?" Fíli sounded offended by the idea. "Y/n, I don´t know who told you that, but it´s not true. You´re one of the kindest and funniest people I know. I wish you could come to council meetings, Kíli´s jokes are getting old."

You smiled before remembering what had made you cry in the first place. "Then why did everyone abandone me? One of the dwarves said that all of you didn´t like me and you´re trying to get rid of me because of that."

Fíli had begun rubbing your back. Damn him and his gentlemanliness, why was he always so nice to you. "We´ve all just got our hands full y/n and I thought it would be good for you to make some new friends. I would never abandon you, I care for you too much."

"You do?"

"Yeah that´s kind of the problem."

"Why is that a problem?"

"I have no idea how to help you, y/n. I thought giving you space to make new friends would be a good idea, but apparently that didn´t work out. Every day, I just hope that you´re okay. You are one of my best friends after all."

The friendzone. That one hurt. You had never really thought about being with Fíli, he was to be king one day after all, but you had still hoped... 

"Just friends?" you asked, surprising yourself. You would normally never make the first move, you weren´t confident enough. You turned to face Fíli, noticing how close he actually was to you. Your noses were almost touching. Fíli didn´t move to say anything.

"Right, just friends." you said, getting up from the chair to diffuse the awkward tension. You started to walk away, but Fíli caught your hand.

"I would like to make it more." he said

"Me too." you replied

Within a few seconds he had spun you around and you were very close again. "Actually, I´m desperate to make it more." Fíli whispered. Feeling bold, you closed the distance between the two of you and kissed him. It was the best feeling in the world. The kiss was chaste as first, but then deepened, the two of you obviously desperate for more. Finally, you broke away for air.

"How do you feel?" asked a very nervous Fíli.

"Like I´m finally not alone anymore." you said smiling. There was a warmth in you that you hadn´t felt in a long time. For the first time in months, you felt content.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy new year! Feel free to leave feedback and check out my other works.


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